


Just As You Said

by radio_free_hayden



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Basically all angst, Given - Freeform, So What Do You Expect, Suicide, i mean it's about yuki, trigger warning, yeah it's just angst, yuki yoshida - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:14:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25983439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radio_free_hayden/pseuds/radio_free_hayden
Summary: Yuki oneshot- what he does after his fight with MafuyuBasically all angstTrigger warning, it's about Yuki so I think you know what I mean
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Just As You Said

"I'll do anything for you." Mafuyu and I are standing on the train platform. Hiiragi and Shizusumi are standing off to the side, talking amongst themselves trying not to interfere. I don't blame them.

"Will you stop with the music already?" Mafuyu turns to walk away.

"Why don't you trust me? Because I... I can't live without you!" I grab Mafuyu's shoulder, trying to get him to look at me. Everything I do is for him. Being in the band is for him. I'm writing a song for him. We're almost done with it too. Sure I spend a lot of time practicing and working, but that's what being in a band is all about. Why can't he understand that? I'm not going to be able to spend every hour with him just because he's my boyfriend.

"Would you die for me then?" He slaps my hand away. I stand there in shock, not knowing what to do. I watch as he walks off. I turn around and head the other way, bumping into Hiiragi as I pass. I can hear him shouting at me but I just ignore it. This doesn't involve them. The train arrives but I need fresh air to clear my head, I'm walking home instead.

It's about an hour walk home and it's freezing outside, it is winter after all, but the cold air feels refreshing on my burning face. I can't believe he said that to me. What kind of person does Mafuyu think I am? I'm not weak. I'm not untrustworthy. I've always been there for him. Ever since we were little I've been there to support him.   
When he was sitting under that tree staring at the ground, who was there to talk to him. When his "father" was arrested who was there to hold his hand. We've been through so many firsts together, our first kiss, our first time, our first... fight. Is this really our first fight? We always got along so well. We complete each other. I can't live without you. Those words that I said ring through my head. I can't live without him. I can't live without him. I can't live without him. I need him. But apparently he doesn't need me.

As I approach my house, my thoughts are racing. I can't stop thinking about what Mafuyu said. Would you die for me then. What did he mean by that? Was it a heat of the moment thing or does he actually mean it? I unlock the door and head inside, taking off my jacket and shoes before heading to the kitchen. I know it's in here somewhere. Rooting around the cabinets, I feel relieved my mom is going to be out tonight.

"Aha." I find what I'm looking for. I pull out a case of beer from the back of one of the lower cabinets. She really didn't hide these very well.

I take everything back to my room and set my guitar down. I put the case of beer on the table. I take off my tie and toss it on my bed, followed by my uniform jacket. I root around my shelf for an old rock CD, one of my favorites to listen to when I'm upset. I put it on and press play, letting the music take over the silence of the room in an attempt to drown out my thoughts. It's not enough though. I open the first can and take a sip. It's not as bad as I expect but not good either. I close my eyes and listen to the lyrics. This song is my favorite from the album. I first listened to it in middle school. Mafuyu bought this CD for me for my birthday. I wouldn't shut up about wanting it for weeks before it was released. I take a few more sips. Mafuyu and I would sit here listening to it, well I'd be listening to it, he'd be on his phone or lost in space. The drink is starting to taste a little better now, I can drink more at a time.

I get up and grab my guitar, leaving the case near the door. I lean back against my bed and strum along to the next song. I learned it as soon as I could wanting to impress Mafuyu. He never wanted to hear me play though. Come to think of it, he never went to any of my performances. I go to take another sip but realize the can is empty. I throw it on the floor, that's a problem for tomorrow. I open the next can and chug it. Throwing that one on the floor too and opening the next one. Why did he have to say that earlier. Would I die for him. Does he not want me around anymore? Does he not love me anymore? No that can't be, it's Mafuyu, he wouldn't hide his true feelings like that.... but he also wouldn't say something he didn't mean... He's always very literal. Maybe he did mean it? Argh I can't think straight. I finish my can and throw it by the others. Maybe I should stop? I've already had four cans. But there are only two left. It can't hurt to have a few more. I open the next can. Does Mafuyu think I'm a coward or something? Does he think I won't do it? Does he want me to prove my love to him or something? That must be it! I've been spending too much time with the band and he wants me to prove that I'll do anything for him. I finish the can and set it on the table, opening the final one before standing up.

I make my way to my bedroom door and stumble down the hallway. If he wants me to prove myself then I'll do it. I'll go all the way for him. I love him. I make my way to the storage closet near the front door. I rummage around until I find what I'm looking for. I'm not sure why we have it but there's a small bundle of rope. I take a swig from the can in my hand before closing the closet and stumbling back to my room and closing the door. I find my small stool and use to open the skylight window. I feel the crisp winter breeze hit my face and I breathe in the fresh air. The smell of snow mixing with the scent of alcohol. I attach one end of the rope to the windowsill and step down from the stool, sitting back down on the floor.

"I can do this... I can do this. I can prove myself to him. I'd do anything for him. I'd go to the ends of the earth for him." I ramble to myself as I finish off the last can and set it on the table. I stand back up facing the rope. This is what he wanted right?

"I'm not a coward, I can prove my love to him." There are tears in my eyes. When did that happen? Am I crying? I shouldn't be crying this is what he would have wanted.

I tie a noose with the rope, my friends and I learned how to tie one as a joke but guess it's actually coming in handy. I step up on the stool and wrap the noose around my neck.

"Mafuyu... I love you so much, to answer your question, yes. I would. Just as you said." Tears are falling down my face as I kick the stool over and-

~~~~


End file.
